“… Asked on what aspect of American culture he finds most fascinating, [Seaman 2nd Class, Hikiro]Tamagotchi seems to have trouble knowing where to even begin.
“I can’t quite put my finger on it,” he muses while methodically chewing on a hot dog. “I just feel like there’s a lot of ancient wisdom to be gleaned from Western culture. I especially respect the teachings of the martyrs Tupac and Biggie, even though they each represent conflicting schools.”
He then gestures to two fresh tattoos on his biceps: one reading “Water,” and the other, “Spam.”
“Spam is customary fare indigenous to the American island of Hawaii,” Tamagotchi explains. “And water is the essence of life, and I just think the way Americans write it is so beautifully intricate.”
“The English alphabet is really amazing when you think about it. Twenty-six letters, each with an upper and lowercase form – very yin-yang,” he continues. “I had my tattoos done in an ancient technique known as cursive. It hasn’t been taught in decades, and very few Americans still possess the knowledge to read and write it.”